Even M.I.A., Santigold, Sia, Tricky Stewart, Le Tigre, Hill & Switch, and Ladytron couldn't make Christina Aguilera listenable

Whether you condone it or not, the blogosphere got just a little nutty after hearing news that former genie in a bottle Christina Aguilera's next LP, Bionic, was slated to feature the likes of M.I.A., Santigold, Sia, Tricky Stewart, Le Tigre, Hill & Switch, and Ladytron. With that single newsworthy tidbit, the internet seemed to pose the question collectively: "Could Aguilera be concocting something of real listening value?"

On her website, Aguilera stated “working on this album with so many talented artists and producers that I admire was really an amazing experience. The artists I chose to work with added so many unique sonic layers to Bionic."

And so it was that we all waited skeptically for first single "Not Myself Tonight" to drop.

"My intention," Aguilera claimed of working with her guests, "was to step into their world and what they do combined with my own vision and sound. The results were magic.”

Not true, unless Aguilera's idea of "magic" is a trite sing-spoken intro and her trademark vocal theatrics over a tinny, skittery faux-Timbaland beat. The lyrics say something trite about being in a club, and - in a weak attempt to sound controversial - that she's "kissin on the boys and the girls." At least Katy Perry made it sound sordid by describing the kiss' taste; all Christina can manage after the deed is to guiltily swear at us: "I'm feelin' brand new, and if you don't like it, fuck you."

If you're still curious to hear the insipid "Not Myself Tonight," click the video below.