Music Critic Bingo!

I found these gems today at Flavorwire, and they're pretty hilarious.

Why not grab two friends, take a stroll through my reviews, and see who wins? Or head on over to Pitchfork and see who wins...faster.

High Places - High Places vs. Mankind... 70/100

I hate to give in to the cliche, but here goes: their first album was better.

I first heard of Brooklyn duo High Places in January, when I checked out their debut, self-titled album and their follow-up full-length, 03-07 - 09/07, a compilation of their singles released during the titular time period prior to their debut. Their music was meandering and ramshackle, but therein lied a certain mesmerizing charm. Mary Pearson’s flange-y warble provided the perfect voice for Rob Barber’s rhythmic clatter, which sounded as though a number of tin cans were being fed through AM crackle, and his accompanying synth minimalism, which gave the whole complex mess an alluring, atmospheric quality. High Places was fantastic because it succeeded by sounding so effortless, and because it lured the listener in again and again until Pearson’s subtly sweet melodies finally stuck. Then, you were trapped.

High Places vs. Mankind finds the band trading in their trash-can aesthetic for straightforward, dreamy pop, which is fine, but nothing astounding. The duo sound subdued, as though some thoughtless human being told Barber that his recordings sounded too cluttered and complex, and Pearson that her voice needed to be sweeter, her melodies more obvious, and the song structures more traditional. The album still stands, because hell, there’s nothing wrong with dreamy, synth-y pop songs, but the whole thing verges on the side of boring, which is unfortunate. Album highlights “The Longest Shadow” and “On a Hill in a Bed on a Road in a House” are worth hearing, but by and large, this is a “background” album that hardly rewards repeated or concentrated listening.

If you’re looking to spend some real time in dreamland, but want to stay awake, you might be best to forgo Mankind for now and head for High Places instead.

New Song: Jonsi - "Go Do"

I had the pleasure of speaking with Jonsi, the singer of Icelandic band Sigur Ros, last Friday, and he's probably the nicest interview I've ever had.

Sigur Ros started making music that was very pensive and sombre, but by the time 2008's Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust came out, they had begun to let loose, creating bounding, sometimes even joyous music.

Jonsi's solo effort Go, which comes out April 6, is a continuation of that joyous sound, but the best track is "Tornado," a grandiose song punctuated by staccato piano and swirling atmosphere.

For your listening pleasure, I've embedded the leaked track below:

New New Pornographers - "Crash Years" "Your Hands (Together)"

May is going to be a wild month. The likes of Broken Social Scene, the Hold Steady, Sharon Jones, the National, Foals, LCD Soundsystem and Band of Horses all have albums coming out between the 1st and 31st, but none of them get my endorphins a-flowin' like the news and accompanying single of the New Pornographers' Together (due May 4 from Matador). For a reason I can't put my finger on, I just feel like this will be an important and thoroughly satisfying album.

Maybe it's the fantastic first single, "Your Hands (Together)." Or the fact that St. Vincent's Annie Clark, Okkervil River's Will Sheff, Beirut's Zach Condon and Sharon Jones' Horn Players are all confirmed album guests.

Either way, here is that fantastic song. I know it's late; I rather wanted to post the song "The Crash Years," which was released earlier today, but apparently iTunes is only offering it to Americans at this point.

Since, you know, the band are as American as G.I. Joe and Apple Pie.

OR NOT.

You lucky Americans can apparently buy the song here. Everybody else will just have to wait.

Too twee for me: Zooey Deschanel

I heard the new She & Him album for the first time tonight. No big surprise there: another album of fey twee-pop that would be bland as plain toast were it not slathered with so much of Zooey Deschanel's gooey, over-the-top-cutesiness that it hurts your teeth.

It's not Deschanel's voice that offends me so, although it far from impresses. It's the sense that she spends her entire life playing the lead in "Zooey: the girl so perfectly marketed to an 'indie' audience and so concerned with her twee image that when she finally farted for the first time in her entire life, an explosion of teacups, literary references, Belle, and Sebastian destroyed an entire state". Everything Deschanel does just feels so calculated: the band references, the role choices, the album artwork. It's all part of an elaborate character construction that, by taking itself so seriously, epitomizes the oft-percieved shallowness and pretentiousness of "indie" culture.

In an interview with Exclaim! in 2008, Deschanel answered the following questions posed to her and M. Ward thusly:

What’s your idea of a perfect Sunday?
She: Wake up early. Bake cookies and play piano. Take a walk where I hopefully see lots of cute dogs. Eat spaghetti squash. Watch a documentary.
Him: Rest.

How do you spoil yourself?
She: A New Yorker magazine and a bag of peanuts with shells. I'm a simple girl.
Him: Soy mochas.

You know what Ward answered to the first question? Rest. Rest! He would rest! That's reasonable, of course - wouldn't you? Or would you stack your day so high with idyllic, childlike activities that it made you seem hip, quirky and eerily unspoiled by real life interaction? She can't just say "peanuts," either, in response to the latter question. Deschanel has to mention that they're in the shell, otherwise, we wouldn't know that she was so cutely idiosyncratic.

And in case you still haven't seen it, here's the latest She & Him music video below. How is it different from Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time"? Deschanel's wearing tights, and Britney Spears has never name-dropped the New Yorker.